SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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