wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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