dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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