Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
