we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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