Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
