he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize