So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And then he peed in my hair
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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