I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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