I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
