Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
