The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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