she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
there is glitter all over my balls
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
