i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
