This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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