Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
