You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
