I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
