physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
