Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
