you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
