This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize