I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
