Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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