She went from zero to smokin in five shots
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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