I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
