babies were throwing up all over the place
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
