She just used a chaser for red wine.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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