Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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