we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
