you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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