yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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