She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
