wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
