Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize