do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
