life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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