There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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