apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
