am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
