used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
