yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
