I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
