..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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