Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
