from now on my penis is your penis
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize