We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
