If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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