you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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