i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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