I've blown a few things in my day
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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