let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
