I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
