Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
porn star boner night. come get it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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