Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
