Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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