Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
