her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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