I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
