do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
