Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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