I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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