I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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