I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
