I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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