Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
