So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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