I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
